I want to believe gradual is a not just a beautiful word but also a bankable one. Gradual change, gradual success, gradual letting go. Gradual is my pace. I never have been the type who knew how to get to point A to C without passing B. Often, I even take half-steps and back steps. I align my moves with my feelings almost all the time. I believe in my heart and the little tugs to it. I believe in the beauty of going through things and hopefully, gradually, ending up triumphant and joyous and more mature and happy. I believe I can be my real self and still feel proud of my tiny successes and occasional missteps. I believe my future will prove more fruitful than my past. I believe I will be able to move past my hurdles, on my own and in my own time. I believe in gradual growths. I believe in gradual letting gos. I believe in my hues and my shades and my grey areas. I believe I will gradually come to understand everything I still do not and cannot know. I must be patient with this being. I must trust she can no matter the difficulties and impossibilities. I must hold her dear and never allow darkness to kill her strange spark and unique glow. I must look out for her; she is all I have and will ever know.