Chocolates

You waited for me by the door to give me chocolates.

You’ve had it for days inside your knapsack and as you were taking it out, I stopped you.

I said, I don’t need chocolates.
I said, I have some at home.
I said, I don’t want you, silently.

For the record let me say that your gesture is sweet and nice and lovely but I am past this stage. I no longer believe in chocolates, flowers and gifts. I no longer want the facades we dress up with to make others like us. I no longer wish to be given anything that is only symbolic of a feeling.

I want feelings expressed, emotions exuded, intentions made known.

I want genuine, I want real, I want truth.

***

Someone handed me a big bar of chocolate.

He was finally able to give it to me after three tries. The first attempt was a total failure. The second one was hesitant and seemed like an awkward joke. The third and last one happened out of sheer courage. He just stood there looking deadly serious while I worked, extended his hand, and said my name. I don’t know what made me accept this token of affection this time around. Perhaps it’s because he wore his heart on his sleeve. I’ve turned down this person multiple times and yet he persists.

I feel sad for him because deep in my heart I know I cannot accommodate him. But I’m celebrating his courage, his optimism, his belief in love. Not everyone has the capacity to endure after having been hurt too deeply and greatly that they are just forever altered, never the same.

Someday soon, someone else will be so lucky to accept everything this man has to offer. I know it.

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