Bad, Bad Day

Today’s shift s*cked. I don’t think there’s any replacement for how I just described it. Too many mistakes were made by my hands and feet. I failed, in several transactions. I feel like banging my head into the wall ’til I am numb and thoughtless. Yeah, I hate how poorly I performed today. Could have done better, should be showing progress. But nope, did not, for this day. I wanna hate myself, I wanna curse myself, even quit on myself for being such a loser and failure at an age when I am expected to be more mature, more calm and composed, and gathered together as a being. I can go on with all this sh*t. But won’t change the fact that I only have me. That I would have to deal with living with all the failures and losses and inabilities I still possess and not give up. I can only learn from my mistakes after all. I can only rise again tomorrow and give life an even harder try. I can only bet on who I am and what I can do. Tonight, just before I close my eyes to sleep, I wanna tell the world that I still believe I can be a better, wiser, more mature individual; that I won’t quit trying though I get beat down many times in a day; and that tomorrow I shall open my eyes to a life that is lovelier and livelier because I still am a part of what colours it beautiful and what keeps it exciting. In God’s name. Amen.

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