What Brings Me Hell

Oftentimes, I feel desperate over the things that bring me hell. These things can range from my biggest, most unachieved dreams to the littlest of woes like food choices or delayed trains. I can get very, very frustrated and in minutes, feel overtaken by immense anger. My entire being gets consumed pondering over and over how unfair and undeserved certain situations are. I would have to process my thoughts, feelings and reactions, take heavy breaths and walk-run a mile, and consume copious amounts of food too, in order for me to regain any sense of good and evil. I’m not proud of this emotionality, this immature and fragile side, when my better self can simply look past the ugly and the minutiae and the unavoidable. Perhaps I should just keep charging to experience and forgive my failings while my character is still being honed. I’d much rather get used to deconstructing and reconstructing my identity than allowing time to pass me by and end up old and grey and stagnant and stiff and sad. 

Anyway, just thinking out loud. Good night!

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