Always

Somewhere along the course of life, as we often need to paddle and row in different directions, we lose people we used to ride boats with. Or maybe, people lose us. This sort of separation is not new to us. We all know we are bound to lose people somehow. Perhaps through distance, migration, misunderstanding or worst, death. This fact always hangs above our heads but when it actually comes, we are never ready. No one masters, will be able to master, learning to say goodbye, to let go or to come to terms with the reality that everything in life comes to an end. When I think about life and the many opportunities it provides us to say goodbye, I always end up asking why. Why begin if only to end? Why live if only to die? Why fall in love if only to break apart? I always end up sighing deep, always end up scared, always end up distraught. Why should existence be so fatal? There are daggers in our hearts and souls and minds which our bodies feel through shivers down our spine, palpitations in our chests, sweat and tears and ragged breathing, the lack of sleep, diseases… The daggers are always, always felt.  We don’t know why we deserve to carry them, why we have to put up with them, why they have to be endured… but they’re just there—always poked, somewhere. 

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