While I’m away, the clock continues to turn. And time gives birth to milestones in the lives of those I’ve left. Things are happening too fast, too many, for many; while I’m still here, moving in circles, stuck. How could I have thought that my absence can make the world halt? Did I expect stagnancy around me simply because nothing’s changing from where I stand? Did I think my displacement would create a hollowed space in the hearts of others? Was I that assuming, that selfish, that blindsided, that awful?
Fact is, it’s lonesome; being left when others stride fast. But it gives me no excuse to be saddened over the triumphs of my friends. Deep down, all I really want is to be with them while life unfolds… I want to be truly present, in arm’s length, within a hug’s reach. Unfortunately, I can’t afford the plane ride home.