WHILE I’M BEING GULLIBLE

mirror 2At this point in time, in this very minute, with these exact seconds, you have me on your fingertips. I am puppet to your strings. I am cast under spell.  I am the docile pet to its master. I am kite, taken by wind. I am the willing prey, or victim. I am a self-imposed casualty to this tragedy.

***

Songs play on the background and like alcohol, music has intoxicated the foolish gal in me. The beats, bangs, strums, wails and echoes…they envelop me like arms and hands tight in a hug. They warm me up, push away the cold, the hollow, the sad. I know I have to sleep and rest and get ready for tomorrow’s workload but if there’s anything I truly want, it’s for time to freeze and just allow me hours or a few days if I’m luckier, to swim in the nothingness of my mind, heart and entire being. ‘Cause really, there’s this tiredness that won’t go away. I wish my life could sing again, and may it be a song I get to love.

***

So while I’m being gullible, use me up and abuse me. I don’t intend to be any deeper in shit than I already am deep in great shit. While I’m being gullible, fool me even and make me stay. For the days we have, in a realm only us know, are making me grow weary and lonely and even more wanting of this shit. While I’m being gullible, fill me in with memories and words and lies and whatever you have left to offer. I am someone who stays in passing; someone who gives all and leaves none. As much as you think I will be this persona you see ’til we are old and grey, I won’t be. Even when I muttered I love you; the lines wouldn’t stay true for long. Savor this stupidity, my dear, dear friend, while I forsake guilt and reason. While I’m being gullible, with consent.

***

So I was Peter Pan for a day. You are my happy thought. At least for now while I still believe in fairies and magic and Peter Pan.

Written : January 28, 2013

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